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  "I didn’t feel equipped to mother this beautiful little person. I’d never felt so much love, but also couldn’t stop going over the birth again and again in my mind. It was all consuming and was crippling me as a mother."
  
  Megan, after her first baby's birth, an emergency caesarean after her waters were accidentally ruptured during a vaginal examination.

  If you feel you need to talk about your baby's birth visit our support page or visit one of the links below for useful information on healing after a bad birth.
  
  :: Birthtalk’s “Healing From Birth” info/support
  :: Trauma and Birth Stress (TABS)
  :: Sarah J Buckley
  :: Childbirth Connection: Listening to Mothers II.
  :: Birthrites: Healing from Caesarean
  :: Caesarean Awareness, Recovery Education & Support (CARES)

• Myths and Truths about Healing

  "How do I heal?"

  Debby Gould, a registered midwife, mother of two, and founder of BirthtalkTM, answers some common questions about healing from birth. (click on the More link to read the rest of Debby's answer)

  Q. > “I feel that the only way to avoid a traumatic birth is to have an elective caesarean so I can control everything...is this true?”
  
  A. > This is quite an understandable and common response. Many of us feel nervous about our perceived lack of control in natural birth and believe that this might be eliminated in an elective caesarean delivery. But an elective caesarean is certainly no guarantee against experiencing a traumatic   birth. Whilst it is true that we cannot control the exact path our birth may take (including during a caesarean)  this does not in itself render us powerless and susceptible to a negative or  traumatic birth experience. ...More > 

  Q > “My friend said the only way to get over my traumatic caesarean was to have a natural birth – a vbac – next time.  Will this fix things?”
  
  A. >  Healing from a  traumatic birth (whether vaginal or caesarean) is not dependant on having a  better experience next time. You can move through and process the  previous birth completely independently of your decision to birth again.   In fact, many women finds this takes the pressure off the next baby and birth to be ‘perfect’ & ‘fix things’. It means the subsequent birth can be enjoyed in its own right, rather than as a salve for the emotional  wounds of the previous birth. It also means that if you have finished your family, you can still heal and move on from your traumatic  birth. ...More > 
  
  Q. > “Last time was so bad.  Next time should I just have a general anaesthetic so I can wake up with a baby and bypass the whole thing?”
  
  A. > Considering how bad your last  experience was, I can fully understand your thought process. However,  to truly make the best decision for you and your family, you need to be  fully informed. This is important so that your expectations are realistic,  and you have the opportunity to get your needs met, and you can feel confidence in your decision making. ...More > 
  
  For more FAQ about Healing a Bad Birth, go to Birthtalk's Healing From Birth webpage.

CANA is a participating organisation under the umbrella of the Maternity Coalition Inc. Website copyright (c) CANA 2006. Updated March 2007.